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STRATEGIES FOR LIVING

STRATEGIES FOR LIVING

Marriage & Family Dynamics

THANKS BE TO GOD!

“Thanks be to God!,” wrote the Apostle Paul. “He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

There is so much for which I am thankful at this time of the year. My health, living in America, knowing Christ on a personal level, being financially stable, a family for which I have every right to be proud … these are blessings I never take for granted.

And, I note with the Apostle Paul, I owe it all to God. Yes, I believe in God. The God the Bible portrays as a father figure, watching over his own with love and justice, is real. I have chosen to respect his design for my life … and he has been good to me!

This is not to say that life has always been a walk in the park. Like so many others, I, too, have been to hell and back. But, with the Psalmist, I have discovered that “when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, behold, you are with me.” In my deepest, darkest moments, God was there … and he was not silent.

Yes, we are thankful, and rightly so. For some of us, it is the result of being forgiven for an irresponsible past … or an undisciplined lust … or an addiction … or a temper that is out of control. Yes, we have been there, and we still have a lot of changing to do. But we have been changed, and that is beyond belief! We do not boast; we are just grateful!

I was given the advantage of being reared in a Christian home. Thousands of babies were conceived at the same time I was, and yet I – the real, eternal me – was placed in the womb of a woman who loved God and raised me accordingly. My father was a man of honor, a gentleman of great character who set an example and showed me the way to honesty and integrity. This accident of birth gave me a healthy start in life I could have discovered in no other way. Why me? I cannot justify the fact … I am just thankful!

Twenty years ago I was recovering from bankruptcy, living on the road driving a long-haul truck, and without a clue how my future was going to evolve. Who could have predicted that within ten years I would be the beneficiary of a loving and stable marriage, own my own home, and, at 79 years of age, have great health! I have, indeed, been blessed beyond what I deserve.

My entire family will be together this holiday. A college tennis coach, a marketing manager, a nurse, a teacher, a preacher, an insurance manager, a real estate appraiser, a business executive, and four healthy great-grandchildren — will make this a Thanksgiving to remember. I am blessed!

And it all comes down to this. “Thanks be to God who gives us the victory – through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Our God is no man’s debtor. He always gives more than he takes away. I cannot imagine what my life – and that of my family – would be like were it not for the influence Jesus Christ has had in each of our lives. We have been honored and blessed – and I am thankful.

 

FROM KATIE DAVIS … WITH LOVE

Katie Davis, following a Christmas holiday visit to Uganda in 2006, accepted the invitation by the director of an orphanage in Uganda to join them as their Kindergarten teacher. On her first morning in class, prepared for a group of 14, 138 showed up … and Katie’s heart was lost to “her kids.” It is a fascinating story, told in her book, Kisses from Katie, and perhaps one incident a few years later, will tell the story.

“One of my favorite mornings after I returned to Uganda [following a one-semester attempt at a college education] began when my three oldest daughters [she was, at the time of her writing, in the process of adopting 13 children “of her own”] marched into my room, where I was still sleeping. ‘Mommy, there are children we need to help, please.’ ‘Okay,’ I said groggily, ‘where?’

They took me to the abandoned house down the road. In the back room were seven children on the dirt floor. They were completely filthy and starving. The oldest was eleven and the youngest was two years old. I had never seen children so sick. … They all had severe ringworm, malaria, and scabies … among other conditions. Two of them were the skinniest human beings I had ever seen.

Of course, the girls and I took them home. I have never been so proud of my family as I was when I watched their reaction. Prossy, Margaret, and Agnes went straight to the tub to give the children baths. … In less than an hour, our seven neighbors were a new bunch of children – bathed, dressed, fed, and giggling. …

This was one of many, many times I have watched my children embrace and welcome in our home strangers and people in need. … How beautiful it is to watch the unwanted feel loved and important, to watch strangers become family members (Kisses from Katie, p. 142).”

Katie Davis may seem to be a special case, but let us remember that at the beginning of this journey, Katie was just a teen-age girl with a deep love for children. She had, however, a deep-driving desire to serve.  Circumstances challenged her willingness, and with each step, another door opened, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Our role within the family will surely not be played out in such an exotic setting as it was for Katie. But for each of us, especially those of us privileged to have a family of our own, ours is an awesome responsibility. The next generation will be guided, not so much by what we say, as by who we are.  Katie lived the life. The life that she provided for her girls was, indeed, a godsend. Her love, her commitment to their well-being, the discipline she had to demand if her family was to remain viable were, in a real way, Christianity in action.

You can believe the task of cooking for, feeding, and educating a family like Katie’s was not a life of peaches and cream. Katie, now Katie Davis Majors,  has little to say about this, overwhelmed as she is for the privilege of raising “my girls.” If we have been honored with a family, it is a privilege, indeed, to live a life before them that they can emulate, a privilege that is second to none.

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YOUR FAMILY — A FORUM FOR GROWTH

Within thirty years, today’s infants will shape this nation’s character and moral convictions. As they mature, they are going to influence both the ethics and spiritual tone of their generation. Family dynamics will undoubtedly be a major force impacting who they will be, what they believe, and how they will live. 

It is imperative that we take that responsibility seriously. Every child deserves the benefit of a stable home life, a family in which children can interact and mature. The home is their primary and most effective forum for growth. Character is not so much taught as it is  caught. Parents will need to be “living models” the children can emulate. Some parents want to be their children’s “best friend,” but our children don’t need a “pal,” they need a parent!

Growing up has never been easy, but it is much easier with parents who are interested and involved. Our task is complicated by the fact that the family is under fire. The demand for unrestrained freedom and a disdain for law and order highlight the stresses facing our generation. Moral issues — the transgender phenomenon, the challenge to traditional marriage, abortion, and the pervasive influence of pornography — further complicate the task.

Our children, however, are not without hope. God has given them a special gift, something we call “parents.” They are responsible to exemplify those qualities necessary to a prosperous life, such as the concept of right and wrong. If our children capture the meaning of honesty, integrity, patience and self-control, in short, character, that will come from their parents. The next generation is going to be, not what we tell them, but who we are. The parents’ legacy will be found not in their wealth, accomplishments, or sphere of influence. Their legacy will be seen in the lives of their children.

A friend of mine boasted that he was delighted he had made no attempt to influence his children regarding “religious issues.” He left that, he said, up to them. That, to me, is unconscionable. God has been removed from the classroom and the Bible has been removed from our libraries. Where will our children discover truth if not from their parents. God may not be welcome as an authority figure, but our children’s future and the fate of our society hang in the balance.

God cares, and he is available to help wherever He is welcome. I agree with John and Paula Sandford. “It is with family relationships that [God] is building character and personality. The kind of character development that happens in the soul is [God’s] primary interest and purpose (Restoring the Christian Family), Location 134). Parents, your family needs you! it is time for responsible and aggressive leadership; it’s time to stand and be counted!

FROM THE BILLY GRAHAM ARCHIVES