When the Priest Pashur … heard Jeremiah prophesying these things, he had Jeremiah the prophet beaten and put in the stocks … O Lord, you deceived me … I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me … So the word of the Lord has brought me insult and reproach all day long. Jeremiah 20:1,2,7,8.
And then there is this:
Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed, But if it dies, it produces many seeds. John 12:24
To paraphrase Bill Hybels, as delivered at the Willow Creek Summit on August 12,
Not all of God’s assignments will lead to success and ego-building experiences. More than one faithful follower of God has found that obedience has led to sacrifice, pain and disappointment. Don’t judge the will of God by your level of success. All God asks is that you be obedient.
It is a lesson that is abominably difficult for me to learn. As I listened to Steven Furtick who started a church in 2006 in Charlotte, North Carolina that now ministers to over 8,000 people on a Sunday, I am not blessed; I feel put down, jealous and my sense of failure intensifies … and I hurt more deeply than anyone can imagine. Ten years of sacrifice and heartache … and I left a congregation of 180 that was soon to self-destruct. What a bummer!
Whether leaving Trinity Temple was right or wrong, I did so with a view to growth and advancement in ministry. I put my marriage on the line and left a secure life-style to launch a project fraught with uncertainty and disappointment. In short, it was a nightmare that left me destroyed and out of active ministry for the rest of my life.
It is possible, however, that even in my failures my life developed as part of a divine plan. The devil may magnify my mistakes, but it may well be that God was there all along … gently prodding me on to a level of personal growth and development I could have achieved in no other way. The years have not been totally wasted … for I am far from the man I used to be. I have, indeed, come a long way.
